When two-time Gold-album selling alternative rock band Cold’s 2020 tour was postponed due to the pandemic, bassist Lindsay Manfredi found herself quarantined on a farm in Fallbrook, California. The result is her debut book, Unf–kwithable: A Guide to Inspired Badassery, published by Rose Gold Publishing, LLC.
The insightful and inspiring memoir and personal development book, which is available now HERE, shares Manfredi’s personal experiences with bullying and abuse as well as the highs and lows of living a creative life and the wisdom she has learned along the way.
“Working on the road on something other than music and fan connection is extremely difficult, since I’m not that focused. And while not touring sucks for the time being, this quarantine gave me the chance to actually focus on the completion of the book, which has been four years in the making,” said Manfredi.
The origins of the book started over twenty years ago, when Manfredi got a spider tattoo, the logo of her favorite band, while working in the music industry on her own projects. Unbeknownst to her, she was manifesting a future in the band. In 2014, lead singer Scooter Ward saw her Cold tattoo and reached out.
“We were looking for a new bassist, and someone had sent me a few photos along with links of Lindsay playing bass. Her having the Cold spider tattooed on her forearm was a welcomed surprise. Then, I watched her TEDx talk on the non-profit she had co-founded, Girls Rock Indianapolis, and that sealed the deal. Not only is she a great musician, she adds a perfect energy to the band,” said Ward.
Manfredi relocated to the West Coast to begin recording Cold’s new album, The Things We Can’t Stop. After a few months of working on the album, she went back to the Midwest to spend some time with her daughter, and during that time, she gained a renewed devotion to meditation and the Law of Attraction. Her studies of the works of Don Miguel Ruiz, Dr. Wayne Dyer, Eckhart Tolle, and Gabrielle Bernstein inspired her to become unfuckwithable. She then decided to write her own story. She invites readers to share her journey and also get to a place where they ask the hard questions to truly get to know themselves and become unfuckwithable as well.
Source: Press Release
Manfredi fills us in on the new book.
Tell us about your new book and the inspiration behind it.
Unf–kwithable: A Guide To Inspired Badassery is a brutally honest memoir/personal development book, where I share my personal experiences from being bullied as a young child and teenager, being in an abusive relationship, being a woman in the music industry, and co-founding Girls Rock Indianapolis, to landing my dream gig with Cold, the only band in which I have a tattoo of. I share the lessons I’ve been able to learn over the last thirty years and encourage my readers to take a deep look at where they are, where they’d like to see themselves, and how to change their outlook in order to change their lives.
You mention the highs and lows of living a creative life. What is that struggle like?
Being an artist is like being trapped in some ways. I’ve often had some of the biggest lessons in my life come out of adversity. So, when things are going well, I tend to find a way to self-sabotage in order to find some sort of meaning in life and create art from being in that pain and rising above it in order to become a more evolved person. I’ve been this way my entire life, and I’m really making a conscious effort these days to just manage my life and be grateful for each and every moment when I’m in the flow.
Do you have a memorable “high” and a memorable “low” that stand out?
I have memorable highs every time I get to be on stage and every time I get to create, whether it’s writing a blog post, music, or a book or making candles. Of course, being asked to be a part of Cold was the biggest game-changer and high of my life. Having my book published was also a huge high and a dream come true. Especially given the dozens of “no’s” I received from literally every agent I sent the manuscript to. But the timing of the Universe is magic, and everything worked out as it was supposed to. But the one thing that really moves me and gets me high is seeing how universal connection manifests through art.
As far as lows, being in a physically and mentally abusive relationship was probably the lowest few years of my life, but at the same time, I truly believe I learned more about myself and other people. It was a time for me to figure out where I wanted to go in my life, how to go about it, and definitely made me look at the type of people I would allow in my circle from then on out.
When did you first become involved in music?
Music has always been a part of my life. I began singing at a very young age. I grew up in a conservative Christian home, so I sang in the kids’ choir growing up along with being in choir at school. I started playing guitar when I was seventeen. My dad had a classical Alvarez that he played when he was in the Army. He had a beat-up Mel Bay chord book that I commandeered and learned how to play on my own. That’s when I began writing my first songs, knowing three or four chords. I listened to so much music, so it came naturally to me—chord changes, progressions, hooks, etc.
What drew you to the bass?
My ex-husband and I started a band called We’re Not Mexican when I was twenty-seven. He was (and still is) an incredible bassist. He plays an upright fretless for Harley Poe. He wanted to focus on guitar, so he encouraged me to pick up the bass. Again, it came pretty naturally because I would always pick apart all of the parts of all the music I loved. Once I started playing bass, I never really wanted to go back to guitar. I am definitely a much better bassist than guitarist. However, I still write on both.
How did you become the bassist for Cold?
I had been a fan of Cold since I saw them open up for Kid Rock at the Metro in Chicago in 1998. I was doing merch for Sprung Monkey for that show. I immediately knew there was something about them that I loved. I moved to Tampa the following year or so to start a new band, and their sophomore album 13 Ways to Bleed Onstage came out. I was so obsessed and in love with it that I got the Cold spider tattooed on my forearm so I could always represent them. That was 2001.
In 2013, I was touring extensively, playing bass in a band called PictureYes, doing direct support for Saving Abel. The two bands have a similar fan base, so someone had sent a photo of me playing bass with a shot of my spider tattoo to SW (Scooter Ward), and he started researching me. He ended up watching my TEDx talk on Girls Rock Indianapolis, and that sealed the deal for him. He then sent me a tweet on October 14, 2014, and asked me to check my FB messages. His number was there, and I called him immediately. He asked if I’d be willing to join him and tour. It was an immediate “yes.” Saying “yes” to things that scare the shit out of you is how you grow. So, I spent hundreds of hours learning the back catalog. It was a “yes” that literally changed my life. I am forever grateful for the opportunity and the incredible lifelong friendships I’ve been able to make.
As co-founder of the Girls Rock Indianapolis, what is your message to young girls?
Growing never stops regardless of the age you are. Teenage years are the most formative ones when it comes to figuring out where we fit in as individuals. They can be cruel and mean and difficult. Just as Unf–kwithable teaches us as adults to focus on ourselves and what we truly love and are passionate about, ALL Girls Rock camps are geared toward teaching campers how to love themselves, their individuality, their badassery, along with teaching about women in music and that history. All of this happens as campers learn the fundamentals of whatever instrument they choose to learn, creating a band and a song, and the teamwork that comes along with it. The message is that we ALL have the power within us to create whatever art we want, especially when it comes to music. But, no matter what it is, never give up on what you’re passionate about.